Striking A Balance

It's difficult these days to disconnect oneself from the myriad of distractions that keep us from focusing on our own well being, and on the things that really matter in life. It used to be that if people needed to reach you, they could call your home, or gasp, they might actually just send correspondence through the mail. Ever watch an old movie and think, if they just had a cell phone, they could warn the protagonist of impending doom?

But that was in the stone ages. Nowadays, I can be reached at my home phone, cell phone, work phone, any number of my multiplying email accounts, facebook, twitter...you get the picture. And there are people who have even more distractions in life than I do. It gets to the point where these modern conveniences that are supposed to make life easier, just end up making it more complicated. In some cases, they are a downright nuissance. ("I have how many emails in my inbox?")

So to truly get away from it all is a challenge, to say the least. Ever since I completed the arduous task of putting together a thesis for my Masters program, I'm still getting used to having my life back after a 3 year hiatus from normalcy. I have to try to remember what exactly normal feels like again. And I'm finding that, like the Thomas Wolfe novel, I can't go home again. The simplicity that once existed in my life, before graduate school and a career, marriage and a mortgage, and all of the things that seem to come with adult life, that is something I will never get back.

The best I can hope for is a week of vacation here and there, maybe juanting off to my tropical paradise in Puerto Rico, or the long overdue visit to my high school friend in Hawaii. And each time I find myself in these idyllic surroundings, I think, why don't I just stay? Do I really need to go back to that other life in that cold, grey place, where actual responsibilities await me? And yet as tempting as it is to never return, return I do. But you know what? As nice as it is to get away, I'm sure someday down the road, I'd find myself swinging in a hammock beneath the palm trees and think, I'm bored. Wonder what the folks back home are up to? Call me crazy, but work is in my blood and I think in some ways it keeps me sane, or at the very least, grounded.

We all have a calling in life and I guess for me, that calling is to be here, at least for now. And while life will inevitably continue to be anything but simple, I know that I have to keep moving forward. I still have much more work to do, as much as I'd like to kick back and take it easy. I'm afraid that once a place is no longer just a temporary escape from our everyday life, it can cease to be paradise. To have a place that I can call home, where I am surrounded by family, friends and all the things that are dear to me in life, this is what puts things in perspective and makes me realize just how blessed I am.