Working Through the Holidays

I've been trying to get in the Christmas spirit this year. I really have. I've done many of the usual things one does: decorating the tree and the house with lights, shopping for gifts for family and friends, baking and of course eating the festive treats and listening to Vince Guaraldi doing "A Charlie Brown Christmas", among other holiday tunes, as much as possible. But I can't shake it. It doesn't feel like Christmas. It feels like any other day. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I am spending yet another year working through Christmas, and not just any shift, but the dreaded overnight shift. It's the nature of working at a 24 hour news station. The news never, ever stops, and so neither must we. So as Santa is flying over Rochester, I'm listening to the scanner to make certain that some crackhead doesn't shoot down his sleigh and make off with your gifts.

It was actually a fairly quiet night this year, which is not always the case. My shift started early with a woman running her car into a house out in Perinton. I'm told no one was home at the time, because that would've certainly messed with your head on a night when sugarplums should be the focus of mental activity. Finishing up there, I scrambled off to Sacred Heart Cathedral to catch the tail end of midnight mass. Normally, I kind of dread this, only because it's expected that I'm going to get some sort of soundbite, and of course it's the same thing every year. No one has the time or the desire to talk to me about the meaning of Christmas, and what is there to say that hasn't been said a thousand times? But this year, for some reason I was looking forward to it. Maybe it was this inkling in the back of my mind that it could potentially be my last year doing this. I actually missed it last year, being stuck at a standoff half the night (that's news speak for a guy in a house with a gun, and they usually go on a while). I thought that might be the case again this year, but I squealed into my illegal parking spot right in front of the church just before 1AM.

Fortunately, they were running late, so I had plenty of time to get video, and since there would be no opportunity for an interview, I was off the hook with that. A little nat sound of the choir, some shots of the manger scene and people praying, and I'm golden. So I stuck around, not having darkened the door of a church all year, and silently recited to myself the ritual responses to the bishop's prompts. It felt good to be there, like it was the first bit of Christmas I had felt all season, albeit for just a few short minutes. I'm not by any means a staunch Catholic, but I grew up in the church, and though I haven't been a regular mass goer in a while, there is something about midnight mass that is appealing to me.

I live right around the corner, so I took a drive by the house to make sure all was quiet there, as I sometimes do in the wee hours when I'm working. Then I took a leisurely route back to the station, accompanied by Vince and his rendition of "O' Tannenbaum". It's almost eerie how everything shuts down on Christmas. Even Lyell Ave. seems to genuflect just a tad. No parka clad ladies of the night were visible strolling down the sidewalks, no dealers on the corners, and even Louie's Cordial had dimmed the lights for one night.

I guess it's hard to get in the Christmas spirit when you haven't had one off in going on a decade now. No pity party for me though. I know I'm certainly not the only one. Some have done it far longer than I. But does that make me feel any less ambivalent? Not in the least.

I have such fond memories of Yuletides past. The traditions of decorating and baking or the anticipation of what treasures awaited me under the tree. Running downstairs at the crack of dawn to tear into presents with a fury reserved for childhood zeal. And most importantly, spending time with family, which these days is scattered about the map. Now I spend my Christmas morn with cops and firefighters.

The magic is gone. And I guess that is part of growing older. The reality of life gets in the way of dreams and wonder. But I still long to have those traditions back and to share them with my wife and someday my own kids. But instead, I must muddle through, as so many others are, my wife included, by working this Christmas. And I can only hope that perhaps in 2010, I can look forward to having a chance to celebrate Christmas at home, with family, the way things used to be, and raise a glass of eggnog to some other poor slob whose only wish is to be at home with his family.

So on this Christmas, wherever you are, whatever burdens you may carry, much greater than mine no doubt, may you and your family find some of that joy of the holiday season and spread it to others who need a bit of cheer.